Movies That Deserve To Be Riffed By Mystery Science Theater 3000 | #computerhacking | #hacking

While “Things” could be the heir apparent to “Manos: The Hands of Fate,” it might face competition from this unlikely sequel released more than 50 years later and every bit as terrible. Spearheaded by actress Jackey Neyman Jones (Debbie from the original “Manos” film) and crowdfunded via Kickstarter, “Manos Returns” follows four friends who, once again, get lost and stuck at The Master’s evil house and must try to escape. 

The only other original cast members to return, besides Jones, are Tom Neyman (once again playing “The Master”) and Diane Adelson (as the matriarch Maggie). Torgo appears in the new film, but is now played by actor Steven Shields … who resembles the original Torgo less than you do. But that’s the least of the movie’s problems.

The main issue, besides the requisite bad visuals, audio, story, etc., is that “Manos Returns” is also trying to be a comedy. When a bad movie knows its bad, that makes it considerably less fun, and anyone who’s had to suffer a bad open mic night knows that nothing is more soul-crushing than forced, incompetent comedy. In a way, that might make “Manos Returns” worse than the original; at least the original was sincere.

Over the years, hosts of “MST3K” have passed the torch along to others; it seems only fitting, then, that they would also pass off the duties of suffering through a “Manos” film. 

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